It is 4 a.m. and I have been up for 3 hours. During this wonderful bout of pregnancy insomnia the baby has had the hiccups, done what feels like some serious dancing in my belly and I have had a handful of contractions. I am 34 weeks pregnant and I have had pretty good luck with sleep, save for a handful of nights like this one. So while I toss and turn, after I have read a book, and had a snack and let the dog out, my mind wanders to this baby as he or she wiggles around and gets comfortable. Not knowing the gender is making these last weeks really fun. We keep referring to him or her as something different all the time. Everyone has an opinion, and is so certain their guess is right. I sit and wonder, will it be another little boy, who looks just like the two other boys I live with? Will it be a little red headed girl? Maybe she will have my hair, and Jeff's eyes. Maybe he will be a great sleeper like Luke was. When will I get to meet this little person I have already spent so much time with? How will I fit more toys in this house that is already full of pirate ships?
Luke is really excited about being a big brother. He talks about the baby all the time. He asks questions about what it will be like with the baby around. I assure him that he still will be able to watch cartoons with me in my bed when the baby is here. He also has taken a new interest in baby toys, most of which were his, but he did not care about before. He is taking on some chores, like clearing the table and collecting the garbage and he is learning to buckle himself in his car seat. He is such a sweet and loving child. I know the new addition will be an adjustment for him, but if his behavior around other babies is any indication, my biggest concern will be keeping him from smothering the baby with affection.
Being awake all night also makes me think of how I got here. How am I 30 and about to have my second kid? How have I been married for 7 years to a wonderful man and I am able to work in a field that I enjoy? Maybe it is the baby coming that makes everything seem better. Maybe I am delirious because I have been up for so long and in a few hours my son will be up and our morning routine will start and I will work a full day on little sleep. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. My excitement grows daily as we prepare for our impending surprise baby. I can't wait to meet this tiny person I love so much already.
