tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24925289576651825402023-11-15T06:06:52.632-08:00The Commandments of Modern MotherhoodWhile treading the dark waters of being a working mother I have learned something new practically everyday. My friends and family have made me a better person during this amazing journey. This is my love song to those who inspire and educate me.Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-49446845470072699592013-08-22T01:36:00.000-07:002013-08-22T01:36:01.925-07:00Thou shall wonderIt is 4 a.m. and I have been up for 3 hours. During this wonderful bout of pregnancy insomnia the baby has had the hiccups, done what feels like some serious dancing in my belly and I have had a handful of contractions. I am 34 weeks pregnant and I have had pretty good luck with sleep, save for a handful of nights like this one. So while I toss and turn, after I have read a book, and had a snack and let the dog out, my mind wanders to this baby as he or she wiggles around and gets comfortable. Not knowing the gender is making these last weeks really fun. We keep referring to him or her as something different all the time. Everyone has an opinion, and is so certain their guess is right. I sit and wonder, will it be another little boy, who looks just like the two other boys I live with? Will it be a little red headed girl? Maybe she will have my hair, and Jeff's eyes. Maybe he will be a great sleeper like Luke was. When will I get to meet this little person I have already spent so much time with? How will I fit more toys in this house that is already full of pirate ships?<br />
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Luke is really excited about being a big brother. He talks about the baby all the time. He asks questions about what it will be like with the baby around. I assure him that he still will be able to watch cartoons with me in my bed when the baby is here. He also has taken a new interest in baby toys, most of which were his, but he did not care about before. He is taking on some chores, like clearing the table and collecting the garbage and he is learning to buckle himself in his car seat. He is such a sweet and loving child. I know the new addition will be an adjustment for him, but if his behavior around other babies is any indication, my biggest concern will be keeping him from smothering the baby with affection. <br />
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Being awake all night also makes me think of how I got here. How am I 30 and about to have my second kid? How have I been married for 7 years to a wonderful man and I am able to work in a field that I enjoy? Maybe it is the baby coming that makes everything seem better. Maybe I am delirious because I have been up for so long and in a few hours my son will be up and our morning routine will start and I will work a full day on little sleep. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. My excitement grows daily as we prepare for our impending surprise baby. I can't wait to meet this tiny person I love so much already.Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-57652799653023648152013-06-09T08:32:00.001-07:002013-06-09T08:32:17.657-07:00Thou shall listen Three is such a fun age. Thanks to my speech pathologist BFF, Luke has an amazing vocabulary. He talks ALL the time, we were in the car for a half hour yesterday and he chattered on the entire ride. His chatting continued throughout his cousins entire dance recital, which I am sure the people in front of us loved. My favorite part of his vocabulary is the normal childhood errors. I love that he pronounces animal "aminal". I told him something the other day and he looked right at me and said "I already knowed that". He is absolutely hysterical. Yesterday, I was talking to him and his cousins about getting along, and he raised his hand for me to call on him for his turn to speak (the first time he has ever done that), and when I did he said "What does clouds mean?". He started talking to the baby in my belly too. In addition to all his chatting, he likes to sing. He makes up songs all the time, he also likes to sing Mickey Mouse songs. He has the sweetest voice too. He is without a doubt my little noisemaker.<div>
He was cranky yesterday so I had him take a nap, I laid with him for a little bit and he wouldn't stop talking to me, around the seventh time I told him to be quiet, he said it was "Teddy talking" His teddy bear was apparently the one talking, and he needed to be separated from the other stuffed animals. So, Teddy was placed in my room so he wouldn't distract Luke, or the other animals from their nap. Luke turns 4 in a few weeks, while I am sure 4 will be as fun and funny as 3, I wish I could remember all of the funny things he says and does on a daily basis. </div>
Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-91406496009709488052013-06-01T06:56:00.003-07:002013-06-01T06:56:47.222-07:00Thou Shall have AnotherJeff and I are expecting baby #2 this fall. Due October 2nd, although I expect a September appearance. We are very blessed and excited. Some kids don't react well to the news of a sibling, but not my Lucas. After I found out I was pregnant, but before we told Luke he whined to me that two of his friends "get a baby and I have nothing" with a pout and crossed his arms. I love the timing of this conversation. I consoled him and about a month later we showed him the ultrasound. He was instantly excited and declared we should name the baby "Captain Hook". <br />
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Now in my fifth month of pregnancy I feel my little invader dancing around all the time, Jeff was able to feel it once so far as well. Its amazing to feel, often when I am having a tough time at work or stressing out about something simple I feel a little nudge and I am reminded what is really important. It reminds me of my pregnancy with Luke, which was very similar and pretty normal - according to the books. Through the journey of deciding when to start trying to have another baby I learned the important lesson that there is never a perfect time, we went back and forth about timing, due to my job change and our financial goals and eventually we decided the conditions were never going to be perfect, but we wanted a bigger family. You would think we remembered this lesson from the first time, but I guess we are slow learners. As it turns out the timing is wonderful, because such a blessing is wonderful regardless of the delivery date. Luke will be going into 4 year preschool and can't wait to have a baby around. <br />
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I have noticed slight changes in Luke since he found out about the baby. They may be completely unrelated to the news, but he is clinging to stuffed animals which is a new behavior for him. Luke has a puppy, a "batman kitty" and a teddy bear that he rotates having by his side. He also told me that he would only like a baby brother, because the only girls he likes are his cousins. He comes up with other hysterical anecdotes almost daily. I am so excited to see him as a big brother.Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-62668303102427108982012-09-30T15:29:00.000-07:002012-09-30T15:29:24.102-07:00Thou Shall Count Your BlessingsI got a new niece this week. She is perfect. I have 5 nieces and 3 nephews and it still amazes me how much I can love them all so much as soon as I meet them. Luke is over the moon for baby Madelynn. I didn't get to spend much time with her yet but I am assured she is a regular newborn who sleeps, eats, and poops all day. I have a cold that came about as I was leaving work on Friday, effectively keeping me in my pajamas all weekend, save for the Saturday morning trip to the doctor to find out Luke has strep throat again. While it would be easy to be dramatic about being too sick to spend any time with the new bundle of joy on my days off, I still feel blessed. After the second dose of his medicine, Luke exclaimed "I'm not sick anymore!" Although he is still sick, he is feeling better. After his declaration he then stated his favorite form of celebration, "Parade!" It always makes me smile. He is also in major repeat mode. My favorite example of this from this weekend was when Jeff asked me how I felt yesterday and when I responded "I feel terrible" Luke said without hesitation "I feel terrible too!" He said this with a smile on his face and then asked me to tickle him.<br />
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I did get to see Madelynn during the week, and hopefully will get to snuggle with her more this coming week. Welcoming her into our family I am reminded how wonderful it is to be an aunt. This blog is full of my thoughts on motherhood, but being the fun aunt is pretty awesome. I hosted my sister's 2 older daughters for a sleepover on Friday, to attempt to allow some more sleep for my sister. During the sleepover - which consisted of taking the kids to dinner and being the loudest and messiest table at our favorite Mexican restaurant and watching <i>Chipwrecked</i> on an air mattress in the living room - Monica proclaimed me to be better than her mom because I let them stay up late and watch movies. While I realize these are not wonderful qualities in a mom - they are awesome qualities in an aunt. We danced around the house and ate snacks and had a pretty fun Friday night.<br />
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I am also blessed with a wonderful friend who is having playdate with Luke while I am sick in bed and my husband is at the Jaguar game. I'm sure he will come home smarter than he left. And my wonderful mom will be over to bring me some chicken noodle soup soon.<br />
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With all these wonderful people I am reminded of one of my favorite Dave Matthews quotes "Turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters"<br />
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<br />Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-50418733034222593112012-08-26T16:56:00.003-07:002012-08-26T16:57:49.224-07:00Thou Shall Repeat Yourself<div>
Being a mom has turned me into a liar. I don't know how many times I've said "I'm not going to tell you again" only to repeat the direction at least one more time. I finally realized I should just ask Luke "Please don't make me ask again."</div>
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I know Lucas can hear just fine. Sometimes he likes to pretend that he can't. I said his name 7 times today without him paying one bit of attention to me. He expected me to tell him not to go where he was headed and decided to ignore me. He did the same thing when I asked him to go get his sneakers. You would think that putting your shoes on was the hardest thing you could do, I had to asked several times, and eventually I went to get his sneakers and put them on him.<br />
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While he completely ignores me, he requires my undivided attention when he has something to say. He does not care if I am talking to someone, or doing something, he will repeat "Mommy" and if he can reach my face he will turn it facing him, if not he will grab whatever part of me he can reach hold on until I turn to him. What he doesn't realize is that he always has at least a part of my attention. <br />
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I'm sure I will be repeating myself for a long time to come. "Don't jump on the couch", "Don't climb on the dog" are as much a part of our routine as "it's time to brush your teeth" and "you have to eat your vegetables if you want a popsicle". My favorite phrase to repeat is one my mom taught me, "I love you from the bottom of the ocean to the top of the sky" I say that to Luke daily and he says it back to me now, but usually gets it a little jumbled. My hope that I will repeat "I love you" more than I end up repeating "no hitting."Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-45108167615711977772012-08-02T17:39:00.000-07:002012-08-02T17:40:35.501-07:00Thou shall take it all in strideMy precious baby boy looked at me this week and said "Mommy, you mean." I can't quite express how that made me feel except to say I was slightly devastated. First, telling a toddler not to play around the toilet is not mean, second where did he learn to call people "mean", and third, why am I justifying to myself that I am not mean? I was definitely a little sad about him calling me "mean" until I told the dog to get off the couch and he repeated me instantly. <br />
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He has also learned how to perfectly imitate my most irritated-and-about-to-lose-my-temper voice. Hearing my words and tone come from him is a little shocking. He has said "Don't talk to me like that" and "You don't tell me what to do" and it sounds just like me. The most fun part of all of this is that my dad recently expressed concern that Luke has a hearing problem. His hearing has been checked and it is fine, he has a common condition in males - selective hearing. Luke will admit that he heard you and chose not to listen, and when he does, I swear, he is trying to roll his eyes. I feel like he should come with a disclaimer "what you say can and will be held against you, most likely in an embarrassing situation." Consider yourself warned, he remembers everything.<br />
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He is also starting to show a preference for my husband. This is mostly at bedtime and bath time, and Jeff loves it. I have to remind myself Luke is just a toddler and wanting Daddy to read bedtime stories is not an insult to Mommy. I also have to remember not to rub it in when Luke wants to snuggle with me and not Jeff.<br />
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When Luke is really tired it is almost like he has been replaced with an evil impostor child, and when he's happy his smile and laugh can light up a room. I'm learning to not get so frustrated by the rough times, and not to be sensitive when he wants his daddy. Not getting so stressed out is also helping me to enjoy the fun times even more.<br />
<br />Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-2763927211040235782012-07-13T06:06:00.001-07:002012-07-13T06:06:17.753-07:00Thou Shall GiggleKids are funny. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes by accident. Luke had a sleepover last night with my two nieces and we had so much fun. Monica had been asking for weeks to have a sleepover and we finally got it together. The 3 kids had a blast. In true sleepover form they all slept on the bean bag bed in the living room and went to bed late and woke up early. They also were in great moods almost the whole time.<br />
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Since Monica was born you had to earn her smiles and giggles and in her 5 years I think last night was the most I have heard her laugh. Lucas was trying to get her to laugh and saying silly phrases. Monica would look at me and say "What is he talking about?" like we were the adults in the room, then give a real belly laugh when Lucas thought she was funny for questioning him. In the middle of their laughter Monica would say "He is cracking me up!"<br />
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Marlee and Lucas have always given their smiles and giggles easier. I think Marlee already knows how irresistible her smile is; I wonder how many sticky situations it is going to help her charm her way through. Luke is very animated and dramatic, so when he is happy he is smiling and laughing and it is contagious. <br />
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I wish I could tape the three of them laughing with each other, I doubt anyone could hear it and not join in. We watched <i>The Lion King</i> and sang the songs and snuggled and had tons of snacks. It was truly fun, even for me. I giggled along with them like a little girl.Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-37424935628299565332012-06-26T03:38:00.001-07:002012-06-26T03:38:40.923-07:00Thou Shall RememberMy baby boy turns 3 in a few days and it makes me want to freeze time. I never want to forget his little voice and sweet laugh. The "terrible two's" as they are called, aren't terrible at all. There were definitely trying moments, but it was a fantastic year. A year of firsts; the first time Lucas jumped, the first time he slept in a big boy bed - which was preceded by the first time he climbed out of his crib. This was the year he potty trained, and gave up his binky, and had his first trip to Disney World. He learned (some of) the colors, he started playing pretend, he started singing songs, he learned to ride a tricycle, and he made his first fort out of blankets. His favorite colors are red and pink, his favorite TV shows are "Max and Ruby" and "the Wiggles." He plays his drum set that Santa gave him nearly everyday and he likes to dump all the toys out of his toy box most days also. He weighs 29 lbs, which he and I call "29 pounds of cute" and at his 3 year check up the doctor said Luke is just on the shorter side of average for his height.<br />
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I have several nicknames for him, one of which is my little noisemaker. He talks and talks, and when he has run out of things to say he starts to sing. I recently asked him to be quiet for a minute and he responded "I don't want to be quiet, la la la la la." When I pick him up from his babysitter I always ask about his day, lately he decided the proper response is "I don't want to talk about it" then he will tell me about the whole week when he is ready. He makes up stories and doesn't forget anything you say to him. He asks endless questions, and repeats everything He nods his head and says "Yeah" to try to change my mind when I tell him "no."<br />
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Some of my favorite phrases he uses are:<br />
"I want you to lay with me for a couple whiles" - anytime he doesn't want to go to bed<br />
"Is I going?" - whenever we talk about plans that we have.<br />
"I need to run"<br />
"I not your baby anymore"<br />
"I will do it" - his independence is starting to show.<br />
"I want to go to Monica, Marlee's" - he loves his cousins and always wants to go to their house.<br />
"This door is always locked!" - He gets frustrated because the door to the garage is chain locked so he can't escape.<br />
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I also call him "Danger." He earned this nickname as well. He creates dangerous situations from perfectly normal circumstances. He will see something - a chair, a couch, etc. and then climb up it, just to jump off of it. He scares me daily, so I decided to tell him to "be careful with my guy," so he will tell me " I being careful with your guy" even when he clearly is not. He loves the pool and the beach playing at the park. <br />
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I also call him "Love." Luke and I snuggle all the time, he will still ask me to snuggle. Most mornings when I drop him off we kiss, hug, fist pump, blow it up, high five, then hug again. I love every second of it. He is a lover, and he wants to kiss and hug everyone - especially babies. This is entirely my fault and I do have to tell him not to kiss every baby he sees. But since it means I get lots of hugs and snuggles, I wouldn't change a thing. <br />
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It is true that you don't know how much you can love until you have a child. Watching my son grow up is amazing. I think I love him more each day. I am truly blessed to have him. So happy 3rd birthday to Lucas, I know this coming year will bring as many wonderful memories as the last.<br />
<br />Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-38477570229304499842012-04-26T10:41:00.002-07:002012-04-26T10:41:13.724-07:00Thou shall laughI have the funniest kid. Luke was brushing his teeth the other night while looking in the mirror said "Daddy, other Lucas is brushing his teeth too!" Later he was playing by the mirror hanging in my room and tried to lift it up, when Jeff asked him what he was doing he replies "I looking for other Lucas." He also notices when there are "two mommy's" and he can see my reflection next to his. About a week later I heard his little voice say "you go to time out" when I asked him who he was talking to, and the answer was "Other Lucas." I recommend that everyone experience a child trying to put his reflection in time out at some point in their lives. It cracks me up every time, and it makes me want to put more mirrors in the house. <br />
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His latest thing is to "sneak" out of his bed after he is tucked in. He walks lightly and has a grin on his face. Then he announces that he is "sneaking out" when he comes to sit right beside me. He was successful in "sneaking" out of bed the other night when we didn't notice he was out until I saw a light come on in the kitchen. I found him in the fridge "sneaking" some juice. I just hope that he never gets better at sneaking out.Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-35789449526292021712012-01-07T14:48:00.000-08:002012-01-07T14:48:49.516-08:00Thou Shall watch cartoonsDespite my best intentions to minimize TV time for my son, I still have to watch some terrible kid shows. A new favorite is <i>Max and Ruby</i>. This show is about two bunnies with no parents, one of which is an overbearing older sister and the other is an annoying little brother. Apparently, the fact that adults dislike shows only makes them more appealing to my son and nieces. One episode of <i>Max and Ruby</i> that we have on our DVR has the bunnies playing doctor. Ruby, being a genius older sister bunny says "Having a heartbeat is very important if you want to stay healthy." While true, I don't really want Luke repeating that pearl of wisdom. I am very grateful for the DVR, so Luke can watch his shows when he is ready to, but it also means that I have seen Max play pirates and ruin Ruby's tea party about 50 times in the past couple weeks. <div>While I complain about these terrible shows that my son loves, they do bring me some peace. I have a child who does not sit still very long. So I do welcome the times when he wants to spend 25 minutes taking a breather. Before I had a kid I never expected to want to have some time to fold my laundry,but these days it feels like a luxury. As Luke gets older, I am sure I will be subject to more and more terrible shows, I just hope I can keep him away from <i>SpongeBob </i>for as long as possible. </div>Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-49078521153977298302011-08-22T17:36:00.000-07:002011-08-22T17:36:01.281-07:00Thou shall make time for yourselfI have said before that wine makes me a better mother. While I do think that is true, it is more likely because spending time with my BFF drinking wine while watching trashy reality TV is one of my favorite things to do. We have a standing date that I look forward to every week. Sometimes it seems irresponsible and a little juvenile, when the house is a mess, but just watching a silly show and taking a break from my to-do list can make me feel like a new woman. <br />
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I love reading, most of the books I read involve vampires, teenagers, or both, but escaping into a silly reality makes me feel better when I am stressed out or overwhelmed. This is true for trashy TV also, some ABC Family is good for the soul. I've also found that when I feel the most stressed, and have tons of things to do, plan and clean, a break is usually the best thing for me.<br />
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Any marriage advice column will tell you to have regular dates with your husband, I think the same is true for dates with your friends. There will come a time when even the best husband will drive you crazy, and discussing these little things at monthly girls nights out (or in) does a person, and a marriage good. A little reminder that you are still a woman, not just a wife, mother, coworker (and the list goes on...) who likes to laugh and celebrate and eat food someone else made works wonders for me and my family. It also helps that I have the most supportive and understanding friends a girl could ask for. <br />
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Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-5405105378778193392011-08-09T12:04:00.000-07:002011-08-09T12:04:37.280-07:00Thou shall say "yes" as often as possibleParents have to say "no" a lot. My house can feel quite negative at times, when I have to tell Luke, "no climbing on the fireplace." "Stop feeding the dog your lunch." "No, Woody can't take a bath with you." I am making an effort to say yes to every request possible. This has made for some interesting compromises. This morning I ended up snuggling with Luke, his child size Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls, 2 Binky's, his cup and a DVD of <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001132GNE?ie=UTF8&tag=thecommofmode-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=1789&creativeASIN=B001132GNE">the Wiggles</a>, </i>and a pillow pet.<br />
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Before my knee jerk reaction of telling Luke "no" I am going to assess the situation. Is it dangerous? (often times it is) Is it unhealthy? (pizza for breakfast?) Is it just silly? (Buzz and Woody coming into the grocery store with us) Although a more appropriate name for my child might have been "Danger", most of his requests are just silly. He likes his milk warm, and there really is no reason for me to say "no" to that. Of course, I don't want to raise a spoiled child, and there is no way I could possibly comply with every request he has to have his binky and watch TV.<i> </i> But I do want to raise a child who is secure and happy. If warming his milk and reading him five (yes, seriously, 5, every night) books before bed makes him a happy child, than my job is pretty easy. <br />
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He has taken to saying "do that again" every time he enjoys something and I have had the pleasure of spending a significant part of my Saturday tickling his tummy and listening to him laugh. This also resulted in me kissing his ear last night, but I got a good little giggle out of it. Of course, there are great joys that come with saying "yes" as much as possible, like the time he said "Daddy do it" when I was about to change his dirty diaper. As my sweet little boy grows up, I am sure I will have to say "no" more often, but for now we will make some pretty silly memories.<br />
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Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-75797710535874100632011-07-27T04:12:00.000-07:002011-07-27T04:12:00.715-07:00Thou shall take pleasure in the small things<div class="PadderBetweenControlandBody">Last week I was grocery shopping by myself and I heard a child whining to his mother. A smile spread across my face and I immediately felt a little happier. Not because the child was upset, but for the purely selfish reason that I did not have to do anything to make him happy. I did not have to get a snack, or a drink, or make funny faces, or anything. This upset child (for once!) was not my problem. I realize this is not a normal reaction, but I can’t help it. That was not the first time someone else’s whining child has made me smile and I’m sure it won’t be the last.<br />
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I also enjoy some of the more traditional parts of parenting. Lucas also likes to read about five books before bedtime. Recently he decided to have me sit down on his floor, while he sits in the rocking chair and reads me <i>Brown Bear, Brown Bear What do you See?</i> This book is repetitive and has pictures, so it is easy for him to "read" to me. When he finishes reading it he gives himself a round of applause and says "yay!" He also claps and celebrates when songs end, like he is always at a concert. <br />
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It's easy to get caught up in the day to day and not stop to enjoy the small things. We all do take time to enjoy birthdays and hitting milestones, but not always the everyday occurrences, like the pure joy a child experiences when you read him bedtime stories. Every time my niece thinks something is really funny she gives a belly laugh that fills up the whole room and usually makes everyone around her laugh too. I'm choosing to laugh when I find a ring of dirt around Luke's neck or find a years supply of blocks under the couch. Those are the moments that are easy to miss, but make each day worth it.</div>Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-17446688082033732012011-07-18T17:57:00.000-07:002011-07-18T17:57:26.671-07:00Thou shall enjoy the terrible two'sAs I write this there is a little giggle behind me, demanding "daddy, do that again" in slightly jumbled English. It is easy to forget the temper tantrum he had just a half hour ago because he did not want to eat his noodles for dinner. Luke didn't want to eat his peas or noodles, so we told him he couldn't watch <i>The Wiggles</i> tonight. As a result it has been one of the most fun evenings we have had in a while. Luke is laughing and playing with us and the house is a total disaster. Some punishment that turned out to be. We had one incident when he tried to feed his Woody doll some grapes, but we are trying to teach him to share... right?<br />
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Luke has asked "what that?" at least 100 times tonight. He asks three times before I even have a chance to answer him the first time. He has played basketball, hidden from us in his tent, kissed my boo boo and asked that daddy read him his bedtime stories, he even said "not mommy read it." Watching his personality develop is the most amazing experience I have ever had. He drives me crazy, he makes me laugh, he makes me smile and he has taught me what it is really like to love someone unconditionally. Some people call it the terrible two's, and sometimes it is, but the tantrums and fits are all worth it to hear a tiny voice say "I love you" and kiss you good night.Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-67698806025392639932011-07-15T17:49:00.000-07:002011-07-15T17:49:24.066-07:00Thou shall not feel guilty over mismatched pajamas<div class="MsoNormal">As a mother, there is a seemingly endless list of things to beat yourself up about. I have the good fortune of being someone who carries guilt around forever. In my attempt not to pass this trait on to my son – which I would never be able to forgive myself for – I have been trying really hard to put things in perspective.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I noticed that when I spent evenings after work frantically cleaning my house and getting ready for the next morning, and I would feel guilty for not playing with my son, during the few hours we do have together. So I started to wait until Luke went to bed to do all the chores and then I had no time for myself and time with my husband. One night when I was searching for the green monkey pajama shirt to go with the matching shorts he had on and I found them in the hamper, I realized that my son sleeps just as peacefully in a surfboard shirt and monkey shorts as he does in matching jammies. My babysitter did not even comment when we showed up at her house, fresh out of bed with his hair in complete disarray and wearing mismatched pajamas. And although my four year old niece would disagree, there is no major difference between clothes and pajamas. It is definitely better to let the laundry pile up than to waste playtime with my toddler. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This may sound like common sense to some people, but I had to be coached not to feel bad about not knowing what was wrong with my infant son when he was crying. I think telling him that the TV is broken to avoid having to watch yet another episode of “The Wiggles” is a forgivable offense. But I have to remind myself that it is ok to feel angry, or sad, or overwhelmed, as long as I don’t take it out on Lucas. I’m not cured, but I’m doing much better. The Catholic guilt will always be a part of me, but I am learning to control it so my son is not so neurotic. I may not be perfect, but I am doing my best, and that allows me to sleep peacefully - most of the time. </div>Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-18644013203364714112011-07-09T09:04:00.000-07:002011-07-09T09:04:32.157-07:00Thou shall not shake thy baby<div class="MsoNormal">This one seems like a no brainer, but today it was my mantra.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luke and I had a wonderful day together yesterday and I was not expecting him to wake up this morning acting like a totally different child. He slept in a little later than usual, then I made him waffles just like he requested, then he turned into a monster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had planned to run a few errands this morning and he planned to throw tantrums.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He threw a tantrum about eating his breakfast; he wanted to go to the “cookie store”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All would have been well, but Luke’s crazy mother was making unreasonable demands, like eat your waffles before we get a cookie at publix. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fast forward version of my morning was several tantrums, including while I was sweeping the kitchen floor and it was his turn to use the broom, “more cookie!!”, “my binky!”, “ No!”, and total panic when I gave him some watermelon for a snack. After he finished eating my snack and demanding chips, we left for our last errand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His irresponsible mother only brought him water (like he asked for) not milk, queue the next tantrum in the car. I kept reminding myself that I love this child and this imposter child that looks like mine will go away eventually. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fell asleep for his nap early, which was fortunate for both of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">This morning was the exception, Luke is usually a great kid, but it is hard to remember that when I am stressed out before I finish my coffee. Speaking of beverages, is noon too early for some wine? </div>Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2492528957665182540.post-87395033246261817782011-06-28T06:24:00.000-07:002011-06-28T06:24:21.110-07:00Thou shall seek professional help<div class="MsoNormal">Being a mom can make you feel like a superhero (I can cure pain with a kiss!). But it is important to remember that there are people out in the world with specialized skills, and when your family is in need of those services it is a good idea to seek the professional’s help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any mom who has ever decided to cut her child’s bangs knows that an actual hairdresser is worth her weight in gold.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have the good fortune of having two nurses in my immediate family, and nothing and no one can substitute for a trained medical professional. Although their mere presence will not stop your child from splitting his head open, it will make it much easier to handle the situation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am also on a first name basis with the nurses at my pediatrician’s office, and no matter how much I think I know they are always helpful, as well as patient with my endless stream of questions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">Other service providers are also often underestimated including two who I could not live without: babysitters and bartenders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These two, often underappreciated professionals have a special place in my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I crave a pomegranate martini, and no matter how many times I attempt to make it, the bartender can do it better and faster that I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My babysitter also has specialized skills, she manages several children on a daily basis while maintaining a schedule and a clean house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lucas asks to see her at least once every weekend, and he gets upset when I try to sing a song that she regularly sings to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This comforts me more than I can express, while making me feel slightly rejected at the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal">As a mom I sometimes feel like I can or should do everything, when in fact that is not true at all. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should play to our strengths and acknowledge our weaknesses. Lord knows that is the only way my toilet is ever going to actually be fixed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>Curly Suehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17446838840329501499noreply@blogger.com0