Thou shall take it all in stride

My precious baby boy looked at me this week and said "Mommy, you mean."  I can't quite express how that made me feel except to say I was slightly devastated.  First, telling a toddler not to play around the toilet is not mean, second where did he learn to call people "mean", and third, why am I justifying to myself that I am not mean? I was definitely a little sad about him calling me "mean" until I told the dog to get off the couch and he repeated me instantly.

He has also learned how to perfectly imitate my most irritated-and-about-to-lose-my-temper voice. Hearing my words and tone come from him is a little shocking.  He has said "Don't talk to me like that" and "You don't tell me what to do" and it sounds just like me. The most fun part of all of this is that my dad recently expressed concern that Luke has a hearing problem.  His hearing has been checked and it is fine, he has a common condition in males - selective hearing.  Luke will admit that he heard you and chose not to listen, and when he does, I swear, he is trying to roll his eyes. I feel like he should come with a disclaimer "what you say can and will be held against you, most likely in an embarrassing situation." Consider yourself warned, he remembers everything.

He is also starting to show a preference for my husband.  This is mostly at bedtime and bath time, and Jeff loves it.  I have to remind myself Luke is just a toddler and wanting Daddy to read bedtime stories is not an insult to Mommy.  I also have to remember not to rub it in when Luke wants to snuggle with me and not Jeff.

When Luke is really tired it is almost like he has been replaced with an evil impostor child, and when he's happy his smile and laugh can light up a room.  I'm learning to not get so frustrated by the rough times, and not to be sensitive when he wants his daddy.  Not getting so stressed out is also helping me to enjoy the fun times even more.

Thou Shall Giggle

Kids are funny. Sometimes intentionally and sometimes by accident.  Luke had a sleepover last night with my two nieces and we had so much fun.  Monica had been asking for weeks to have a sleepover and we finally got it together.  The 3 kids had a blast. In true sleepover form they all slept on the bean bag bed in the living room and went to bed late and woke up early.  They also were in great moods almost the whole time.

Since Monica was born you had to earn her smiles and giggles and in her 5 years I think last night was the most I have heard her laugh. Lucas was trying to get her to laugh and saying silly phrases.  Monica would look at me and say "What is he talking about?" like we were the adults in the room, then give a real belly laugh when Lucas thought she was funny for questioning him. In the middle of their laughter Monica would say "He is cracking me up!"

Marlee and Lucas have always given their smiles and giggles easier. I think Marlee already knows how irresistible her smile is; I wonder how many sticky situations it is going to help her charm her way through. Luke is very animated and dramatic, so when he is happy he is smiling and laughing and it is contagious.

I wish I could tape the three of them laughing with each other, I doubt anyone could hear it and not join in.   We watched The Lion King and sang the songs and snuggled and had tons of snacks. It was truly fun, even for me. I giggled along with them like a little girl.

Thou Shall Remember

My baby boy turns 3 in a few days and it makes me want to freeze time.  I never want to forget his little voice and sweet laugh.  The "terrible two's" as they are called, aren't terrible at all.  There were definitely trying moments, but it was a fantastic year.  A year of firsts; the first time Lucas jumped, the first time he slept in a big boy bed - which was preceded by the first time he climbed out of his crib.  This was the year he potty trained, and gave up his binky, and had his first trip to Disney World. He learned (some of) the colors, he started playing pretend, he started singing songs, he learned to ride a tricycle, and he made his first fort out of blankets. His favorite colors are red and pink, his favorite TV shows are "Max and Ruby" and "the Wiggles." He plays his drum set that Santa gave him nearly everyday and he likes to dump all the toys out of his toy box most days also.  He weighs 29 lbs,  which he and I call  "29 pounds of cute" and at his 3 year check up the doctor said Luke is just on the shorter side of average for his height.

I have several nicknames for him, one of which is my little noisemaker.  He talks and talks, and when he has run out of things to say he starts to sing. I recently asked him to be quiet for a minute and he responded "I don't want to be quiet, la la la la la." When I pick him up from his babysitter I always ask about his day, lately he decided the proper response is "I don't want to talk about it" then he will tell me about the whole week when he is ready. He makes up stories and doesn't forget anything you say to him. He asks endless questions, and repeats everything He nods his head and says "Yeah" to try to change my mind when I tell him "no."

Some of my favorite phrases he uses are:
"I want you to lay with me for a couple whiles" - anytime he doesn't want to go to bed
"Is I going?" - whenever we talk about plans that we have.
"I need to run"
"I not your baby anymore"
"I will do it" - his independence is starting to show.
"I want to go to Monica, Marlee's" - he loves his cousins and always wants to go to their house.
"This door is always locked!" - He gets frustrated because the door to the garage is chain locked so he can't escape.

I also call him "Danger." He earned this nickname as well.  He creates dangerous situations from perfectly normal circumstances.  He will see something - a chair, a couch, etc. and then climb up it, just to jump off of it. He scares me daily, so I decided to tell him to "be careful with my guy," so he will tell me " I being careful with your guy" even when he clearly is not. He loves the pool and the beach playing at the park.

I also call him "Love."  Luke and I snuggle all the time, he will still ask me to snuggle.  Most mornings when I drop him off we kiss, hug, fist pump, blow it up, high five, then hug again.  I love every second of it.  He is a lover, and he wants to kiss and hug everyone - especially babies. This is entirely my fault and I do have to tell him not to kiss every baby he sees. But since it means I get lots of hugs and snuggles, I wouldn't change a thing.

It is true that you don't know how much you can love until you have a child.  Watching my son grow up is amazing.  I think I love him more each day.  I am truly blessed to have him.  So happy 3rd birthday to Lucas,  I know this coming year will bring as many wonderful memories as the last.

Thou shall laugh

I have the funniest kid.  Luke was brushing his teeth the other night while looking in the mirror said "Daddy, other Lucas is brushing his teeth too!" Later he was playing by the mirror hanging in my room and tried to lift it up, when Jeff asked him what he was doing he replies "I looking for other Lucas." He also notices when there are "two mommy's" and he can see my reflection next to his. About a week later I heard his little voice say "you go to time out" when I asked him who he was talking to, and the answer was "Other Lucas."  I recommend that everyone experience a child trying to put his reflection in time out at some point in their lives.  It cracks me up every time, and it makes me want to put more mirrors in the house.

His latest thing is to "sneak" out of his bed after he is tucked in.  He walks lightly and has a grin on his face.  Then he announces that he is "sneaking out" when he comes to sit right beside me.  He was successful in "sneaking" out of bed the other night when we didn't notice he was out until I saw a light come on in the kitchen.   I found him in the fridge "sneaking" some juice. I just hope that he never gets better at sneaking out.

Thou Shall watch cartoons

Despite my best intentions to minimize TV time for my son, I still have to watch some terrible kid shows.  A new favorite is Max and Ruby.  This show is about two bunnies with no parents, one of which is an overbearing older sister and the other is an annoying little brother.  Apparently, the fact that adults dislike shows only makes them more appealing to my son and nieces.  One episode of Max and Ruby that we have on our DVR has the bunnies playing doctor.  Ruby, being a genius older sister bunny says "Having a heartbeat is very important if you want to stay healthy."  While true, I don't really want Luke repeating that pearl of wisdom. I am very grateful for the DVR, so Luke can watch his shows when he is ready to, but it also means that I have seen Max play pirates and ruin Ruby's tea party about 50 times in the past couple weeks. 

While I complain about these terrible shows that my son loves, they do bring me some peace.  I have a child who does not sit still very long.  So I do welcome the times when he wants to spend 25 minutes taking a breather. Before I had a kid I never expected to want to have some time to fold my laundry,but these days it feels like a luxury.  As Luke gets older, I am sure I will be subject to more and more terrible shows, I just hope I can keep him away from SpongeBob for as long as possible. 

Thou shall make time for yourself

I have said before that wine makes me a better mother. While I do think that is true, it is more likely because spending time with my BFF drinking wine while watching trashy reality TV is one of my favorite things to do. We have a standing date that I look forward to every week. Sometimes it seems irresponsible and a little juvenile, when the house is a mess, but just watching a silly show and taking a break from my to-do list can make me feel like a new woman.

I love reading, most of the books I read involve vampires, teenagers, or both, but escaping into a silly reality makes me feel better when I am stressed out or overwhelmed. This is true for trashy TV also, some ABC Family is good for the soul. I've also found that when I feel the most stressed, and have tons of things to do, plan and clean, a break is usually the best thing for me.

Any marriage advice column will tell you to have regular dates with your husband, I think the same is true for dates with your friends.  There will come a time when even the best husband will drive you crazy, and discussing these little things at monthly girls nights out (or in) does a person, and a marriage good.  A little reminder that you are still a woman, not just a wife, mother, coworker (and the list goes on...) who likes to laugh and celebrate and eat food someone else made works wonders for me and my family. It also helps that I have the most supportive and understanding friends a girl could ask for.

Thou shall say "yes" as often as possible

Parents have to say "no" a lot. My house can feel quite negative at times, when I have to tell Luke, "no climbing on the fireplace." "Stop feeding the dog your lunch." "No, Woody can't take a bath with you." I am making an effort to say yes to every request possible. This has made for some interesting compromises.  This morning I ended up snuggling with Luke, his child size Buzz Lightyear and Woody dolls, 2 Binky's, his cup and a DVD of the Wiggles, and a pillow pet.

Before my knee jerk reaction of telling Luke "no" I am going to assess the situation.  Is it dangerous? (often times it is) Is it unhealthy? (pizza for breakfast?) Is it just silly? (Buzz and Woody coming into the grocery store with us) Although a more appropriate name for my child might have been "Danger", most of his requests are just silly.  He likes his milk warm, and there really is no reason for me to say "no" to that. Of course, I don't want to raise a spoiled child, and there is no way I could possibly comply with every request he has to have his binky and watch TV.  But I do want to raise a child who is secure and happy.  If warming his milk and reading him five (yes, seriously, 5, every night) books before bed makes him a happy child, than my job is pretty easy.

He has taken to saying "do that again" every time he enjoys something and I have had the pleasure of spending a significant part of my Saturday tickling his tummy and listening to him laugh. This also resulted in me kissing his ear last night, but I got a good little giggle out of it.  Of course, there are great joys that come with saying "yes" as much as possible, like the time he said "Daddy do it" when I was about to change his dirty diaper. As my sweet little boy grows up, I am sure I will have to say "no" more often, but for now we will make some pretty silly memories.